Monday, January 2, 2012



It is late on this New Year's Day, and truly time for bed. The house is asleep, the children, the birds, the husband. One single candle glows as I haunt the house late into the night. I know it is time to sleep.

But tell me, can you sleep at night? Or do thoughts keep your mind pacing in the world of shadowed doors and windows?

I listened last night as hopes for a prosperous new year cascaded; some are so optimistic about what it will bring. Resolutions, dreams, promises to be better, to reach higher, to be more truthful, more faithful, more perfect! And I, stalking my own darkness, find myself reaching inside myself to pull out what is already there, to find some obscure part that is truly good and hold on to it. For this new year I wish nothing more than genuineness; I wish nothing more than true, uncompromising love; I wish nothing more than to live as the person I was meant to be - a daunting thought if you don't know who that is.

I may always pace the corridors of the night watch; the fear from which I run may never leave. But I hope you will haunt this path by my side.

Warm wishes from my heart...

16 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

you, my dear, and dawn are twins, separated by birth. i swear. :)

i hope you will find peace and resolve inside, dearie! :)

Pam said...

I am still here. And have paced those dark halls when my mind just won't stop.. but I must admit, I found peace in the quiet darkness while the household slept.
You brought tears to my eyes yet again, my friend.
~:)

Meg said...

Ah, what a perfect wish for the new year. Yes, I will wander the darkened corridors with you!

Randy said...

Wishing you a Happy New Year.

Judy said...

Oh goodness, my mind paces at night when I should be sleeping.
I wish you and your family a wonderful New Year.

Out on the prairie said...

I am just getting home, I have a late sleeping time now.It is hard sometiimes to shut that brain off.

MarmePurl said...

My household sleeps. I walk by your side.

Anonymous said...

Je me réjouis d'une nouvelle année en compagnie de ton blog et de ton amitié. Mes meilleures voeux pour la nouvelle année et j'espère à bientôt. L'allemande

From Beyond My Kitchen Window said...

Sometimes sleep is not so peaceful. I will walk the path with you Allison.

Kim said...

hope you have a wonderful 2012. The snow pictures are beautiful.

Pam said...

Close your eyes, put on shinny red shoes, click your heels, and you are here,
the imp ~:)

Ola said...

Nice to see you again here! I have been thinking about my resolutions, soon I will post about it

Mom and Dad White said...

My dear daughter Allison. I hope and pray that you know how very much you are loved by these parents of yours. We wish for you a very peace-filled and love-filled New Year.

Dawn said...

You sound like my heart feels.
I wander too.
Can I join you? Maybe we should invest in calling cards....

Hugs my dear friend on the other side of the world.

Nancy @ A Rural Journal said...

Allison -- just so you know, I found my 30s to be a very confused time. It wasn't until I reached my late 40s, did I feel I was where I was supposed to be. I hope it doesn't take you that long to find contentment.

xoxo

Debbie said...

I'm with you friend. I'm the one holding the mirror so that you can see yourself as I see you. I love the friend I see.

Love you,
Debbie