We were sitting on tree stumps having lunch in the forest when little hands made offerings of a dessert.

She claimed they were shelled hazelnuts, something her hard-core tarzanian father had taught her to do early in life. The rules in his book are simple:

1. You can live twenty-five days without eating.
2. You can go without drinking for three days before you die (the key word here being die, of course).
3. The land will always feed you.



With dessert now looming before him, he was obliged to pop it in his mouth.

"They're acorns," said this Hollywood-bred Jane.

"No, no, she's got it right - they're hazelnuts. You can live off the land."

Surely you can guess the end of this story. For once Tarzan was thwarted, and spat his protégé's masterpiece into the grass... "They're ACORNS!"

And so it begins...